And thats what youve got to understand. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying so. Facebook nowadays is a cesspool of narcissistic boomers, sl*ts, anti-vaxxers, white supremacists, conspiracy weirdos and other human trash, so posting a public video shaming your disabled children there means that youre not different from them. The hell you watch them go through because theyve been thrown into this world alone in their head, us unable to help. It sounds like she had a hopeful day planned out for her kid, felt that he was ready, and couldnt wait to see his happiness, then when it went downhill it really sunk in how bad his disability is and she felt that she had failed him. If the mother had the nerve to publish that content, she should deal with the consequences! You really seem to be of the mind that women should just shut up and put up with no help. Explain the routine to your child, and use a picture schedule to help them predict events. Hang in there. Click bait-y title but agree with the overall point. "More than half of children with autism have moderate to severe sleep disturbances," according to the ATN specialists. However, we should also 100% respect the battle fatigue that parents of children on the spectrum face from caring for their child in an NT world. Be consistent. Other Sections Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Luna Rose Last Updated: March 29, 2022 References That is the most passive aggressive thing I have ever read in my life. Look, having kids makes life harder as much as it makes life fulfilling. Comer, J.R. Abnormal Psychology, seventh edition. If we dont allow the parents to speak their needs, how will society at large know the damage its inflicting on people who are already under stress from adapting to an entirely new way of life? It affects the neighbors, the schools that have to upgrade security specifically because your child wont stay on campus. No one here said to bottle it up. These difficulties can be very frustrating! I don't feel like have an identity anymore. And its shorter for Autistic with intellectual disabilities. This article has been viewed 68,833 times. You probably want to deny your parents the right to complain about you, but you project it on us. And before anyone says but you cant possibly understand because you and your child are high functioning which is totally different.. If you have the backing of a professional, quote the professional. Does it mean we love our children any less?! THE MOST BASIC THINGS IN LIFE. Well nothing has changed with him. This feels incredibly frustrating, and your child may act out. She is blogging about her life. Make a doctor appointment. They gave birth to a disabled child so i guess they deserve what they get. Or the kid who makes gorgeous works of art. I dont criticize that woman for trying to take her child to see something she thought he might like. I havent made it to 32 yet, and Im very lucky to have made it this long. are you kiddding me?? If anyone lets on that raising their kids isnt all rainbows and precious moments and is sometimes downright demoralizing, other people automatically assume that the venting parents are terrible, ungrateful and hate their kids. And she cries because if she dies before he does she doesnt believe anyone will go to her childs funeral. Next time you fall into bed after wrestling your autistic child into clothes, away from danger, taking their meds and into bed, and you let out an ugh, that was hard! Lets hope the mom-bullies are not around to bash you for complaining!! When pushed to do something they don't want to do, your child may throw a fit. This article is a bit ridiculous. Absolutely not. In general, its best to avoid making your child feel too awkward. So do both a favor drop out of those groups so those parents can vent and talk and not be judged by the likes of you. If a child doesn't believe that you will respect verbal or alternative communication, they may act out due to the belief that it is the only way to be acknowledged. I cant stand people like you and their preaching about neaurodiversity. Your child may learn to communicate very well in alternative ways, such as sign language, typing, facilitated communication, and more. Knowing your child will need 24/7 care the rest of their life, and knowing you will die first, and who then will love them as much and take as good of care as the deserve. I am a parent of a severely autistic adult and HE IS NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN A BURDEN and I presume competence (as we all should for anyone with serious communication challenges), it would break his heart to hear me say something like that about him. Its just not okay at all. Your child may not sit still, but mild/moderate fidgeting can be enough to help them focus. Youre just bitter and selfish, thinking your feelings matter more than autistics like me. Your son smearing fecal matter in your face is communication. I understand that parenting an autistic child (like any child) can be frustrating, exhausting, overwhelming, and downright scary at times. If I do, thats a meltdown. I was excluded for being different, rude annoying etc. Im a teacher and mother of a severe ASD child and even as a teacher, I had NEVER seen the severe side until my son, now 5, regressed. I guess you conveniently forgot to leave that part out, because it doesnt fit your narrative. They both have knocked down barriers that were set before them by well meaning people. Why does it look like they do it like a breeze. No one is perfect. The comments here make me so sad. Most autism mums disgust me. Due to Covid and the massive regression our family has faced with the eldest to the author, Go Fuck Yourself. But that doesnt equal liking him and you know that deep down. My husband disappeared into his work, and I had another child who needed me as well. People NEED people. When a parent has a sometimes NT-ish child, they still cant find a carer capable of managing the needs of their autistic child because meltdowns happen and sensory and structural needs are still there. It looks nice, but its not. This post is just totally off. 217K subscribers in the autism community. She holds a degree in Informatics and has spoken at college events to improve understanding about disabilities. If your child suspects that you may not follow through, he or she is unlikely to stop the behavior. Im really shocked at these replies youve gotten. My oldest has her DL and when school thought she couldnt do it I said shell fail like any other child. Nonverbal autistic people can be very happy and successful in life, like Amy Sequenzia. I feel really bad for him, youre disgusting. Wow, Kaylene, such a great essay! Yall need to start treating your severely Autistic children with basic human rights, privacy, and respect. I used to follow the blog of a woman who filmed her sons rages. Parenting is hard. How dare you. I know it takes some of us a long time to connect with Actually Autistic community and by then you may have already gone down a path of trying to fix your child, and hating autism. Its the stupidest reason. I will trust that you are right that your son will never read or see the offensive videos and articles the author is condemning. Email me if you need someone to talk to. And theres nothing shameful about venting it out vrs bottling it up to fester and rot inside you. People vent about their parents, their spouses, their siblings but no-one judges them harshly for it. Depending on your child's learning abilities, this may be a good idea. And yes you can shove youre gross harmful opinions back up you ass, because I grieved I did, when the drs told me my baby will never know langue, he will never call me mommy, he will not love another, he will not Mary, there will be no dances or seeing him do normal things like draw or sort Its devastating its the loss of all original hopes and dreams you had for the baby you carried for months. Likewise, you learn that to vent to certain sources doesnt help. The key to understanding how to calm an autistic child lies with understanding what it is that triggers the behavior. But now I am. If its such a big deal that your child meets Elmo, then that trip wasnt for your child at all. The reason your son acts this was is NOT because of autism, its because he has a worthless sake of shit like you for an egg donor. I guess you missed the part where she said all she wants is for her Son to be happy!! If your child continues misbehaving for attention, even after you ignore the bad behavior, calmly say "Screaming is not going to get you what you want. They are shunned by society right along with Autistic people. In most instances with your child, it's not truly an emergency and both you and your child will benefit from putting the breaks on, and then following up when your ready with a more supportive and effective response. Oh and Just go to a Starbucks LOL! Anything else is cruel to the child and parent. None of us are perfect but clearly your social media skills need improving because you are trolling the wrong people: advocates for improvement in autism services, education and supportservices which you could benefit from if you honestly cannot see how mean and misguided your insults are. I would not need to give up my life and my energy for their constant care and well being. Several parents messaged me and said they were glad to know others were struggling. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Your email address will not be published. Its the same thing. Would you prefer they tell a family-member and have it get back to their kid one day? And I research how I can make it better and i take him to therapy and we try this and that But what I really need some times is to see someone else who struggles too. It is offensive to parents that struggle every day. I totally agree with this whole page a good ride up stop feeling sorry for yourself get tough Its called tough love buckle up get a life, unless you cant handle it then its okay to go get psychological help but why post it on Facebook because she wanted something free. The mother making the video had every right to vent and talk it out. Good for you, you must be soooooo perfect! For the love. You may be someones only tie to the autism community. Their kids still have PTSD, no matter how lovingly they were abused. What about the fathers? Raising an autistic child is literally hell on earth, no two ways around it. Yo, Autism parents. No need to apologize for anything there .. The kind of mom who would make one of these namby-pamby videos and have the idiocy to post it has issues beyond her child with autism. YOUR brain may be fine just the way it is, but something happened to my healthy, typically developing baby boy and he got seizures and lost words, started toe walking, got a horrible rash, allergies, and regressed into full blown autism a neurological DISORDER. Shunned by society right along with autistic people can be enough to help them focus an autistic child literally! Part out, because it doesnt fit your narrative fidgeting can be enough to them... Family-Member and have it get back to their kid one day lets hope the mom-bullies are not around to you. 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That deep down you really seem to be happy! they gave birth to a child.