We both know that we cant afford to replace the things in our home. Hire a dog walker: Hiring a dog walker to lessen his workload is a good idea. His wife was disgusted because she said that the dog should have stayed on the ground while they ate and now the next person that comes in will be sitting and eating where a dog was? Im not sure what to do at this point, most angry pet owners will just say to leAve or end it. Its gotten to the point of threats: harming them or killing them, and driving me to suicide, as I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I asked my husband if hes willing to put her dog bed out of the bedroom and he didnt like the idea I feel he puts the dog before me and he even willing for me to separate from him than to compromise. They cannot talk. I am interrupted by dogs noisy playing in the house every time I try to speak and the illustrious owner ignores and interrupts me to quieten them down. It alters the relationship. I recently started dating a girl back in November who at the time told me she had a dog, but it wasnt until we made it official and began spending time at each others places was when I found out how bad her dog is. None of the begging nonsense excessive unnecessary barking etcfast forward. Maybe he is jealous, I dont know. You sant a dog for you and could honestly care less about a future partner or the dog itself. And my dog is the only one that can get into trouble. I just dont know what to do.. Dan, after 4 years of marriage with my relationship I was subjected to being valued less than my husbands dog, it basically came down to Hes not that I to you type of thing. Ive had dogs but these arent dogs: theyre living gods. We have already discussed 15 reasons why your husband/boyfriend may want to get rid of the dog with 15 possible solutions. Have faith that what you feel is correct. Being around him is never fun. Suddenly he didnt want the dog sleeping with us. I like his presence there with me so it works. I tell him he is making it worse, he reads that same thing and attempts to change his behavior for about a minute. If I had to do it over, I would not. The huge red flag: a couple of weeks into our relationship my partner said he had to tell me a secret and that he hoped I would understand. Yes animals can feel! So true! I volunteer at a rescue feeding orphaned baby pups and kittens. Enough to break the marriage? I am so totally depressed. The dog acts out, becomes even more needy, which only breeds guilt in their owner, so they turn their focus away from their relationship to focus solely on the dog again and boom, the issues start! I have had my dog since he was 4 months old. What a waste of my precious time over a bloody brainless mutt that would go with anyone that fed its face and let it be incontinent in public places. If more people could understand this principle there wouldnt be so many broken marriages and relationships in the world. Ive caved for everything my husband wanted that I completely disagree with but having the dog in the bed i truly dislike. I love that little cutie. Ie. Sam Basso I also have to watch them when hes out of town which is several times a year. For myself, as a child my family had dogs, cats, birds, fish, and even a turtle. Thats borderline mental. Read this article in order to educate yourself on how to stop a Doberman from barking. For some reason she feels this is unfair. Im standing firm & want him to go to my therapist with me so perhaps she can explain it to him better than I am. Compromise. Pet lovers are really just nasty softcore beastiality enthusiasts. Im literally in a silent argument about it right now! (He made the comment she would be happier there.) My guess is not at all!! A trainer can work with you to make your pet a more mannerly member of the family, and a veterinarian can help you uncover hidden health problems that contribute to annoying behavior. I have bought a pretend, fur real, cat to sit in my lap, its not the same. The dog might end up dead if it is given away . A person chuckles when they first see him. We couldnt crate her at night because shed crap all over herself. The dog issues certainly are draining you of your time (and your sleep!). Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. It simply would not be tolerated. Now I have been VERY clear about where I stand with her dog. Now with my partner its so different. She was way obsessed about them with a bulldog pillow, bulldog painting, bulldog mugs, bulldog statue, bulldog keychain, picture of her dead bulldog on her mantle along with his ashes, her company is named after her bulldog with its picture. No. This is why people end up divorced, no boundaries are ever respected. my girlfriend doesnt like my dog on the bed because she sheds,but she lets her dog sleep on the bed. I went into the relationship not thinking my pets would be a problem,but since he has virtual power over the household, he has decided that they have to go. Your householders have allergies to dogs. When we met he never told me he was a pet lover. If it bites on your kids, guests, and other people, this is a reason why does your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog. Then I asked if he had to choose between me and the dog he said the dog. :\ and the thought of our baby being born soon I dont want dog hair anywhere! As long as an animal isnt being neglected or abused, your significant other always comes first. He refuses to go anywhere the dog cant have full reign of. Like one full week for leave it. He MUST put the relationship over the bulldog. not when Im being treated as beneath them! Since we have been together 7 years now, problems have started popping up. if you ignore her she gives a bark for attention and climbs on. The dog is very friendly. I am not at all angry with him, and am grateful that he let me go. Hes a good dog but senses that my husband doesnt like him so hes afraid of him. Yes, she is a dog. When Fido dies in 10 years, what have they left? If I had known just how badly she shed before I got into a relationship with my boyfriend I would have turned him down. His dog sheds a full coat of hair every DAMN DAY. However, their dog is super annoying too. i cannot be in this relationship , its really hard. He has also nipped at my son! I asked him why hed never told me this before and why had he let me go for so long under the impression that I would someday have a dog. It was like a kiss of passion of his head moved right to left and left to right. He is sweet and sheds much less and does not stink!!! Undoubtedly there will be some sensible advice here, but to be honest, so many of you just sound completely bonkers! Dog doesnt know a kennel. But in reality.. NO. It seems reasonable to need a bit of adjustment time. I dont know. You are most definitely not overreacting. Only a month would be sufficient. Yet most of the time something will always get in the way. He doesnt feed him, water him, or even acknowledge him except for when he has an accident which may be once a month. if the puppy pees I get yelled at. He takes care of the vet and feeding, but, except for his bed, I do the cleaning of dog hair and messes on my floor. Chat with your veterinarian looking for the possibility of making claws shorter and putting plastic claws. , ..but my man dont even ask about mine either, or say he wants to visit them or anything and that makes me sad cause im alwasy over there i just dont know what to do!!!! We cant agree on where the dog can sleep, how much the dog can stay inside or even how much food to give the dog. Thank you! And honestly, I do feel bad for these animals because I dont hold their behavior against them. She has put a section of the room with pads on the floor so the dog can go there to pee while we are at work. Me." Their handsome long-haired dog was fed prime cuts of meat, brushed and hugged frequently, and taken. When I told my wife about it she told me to call them back to tell them that the dog is staying here (at home with three young children). I got married and moved in with my husband awhile ago and we adopted a dog shortly after. Logan, I just feel gross All the time. But, I promised to give you 23 solutions. I agree accidents can happen. I was just wondering if anybody could answer my question. His bad habit is getting in the sink. I get angry because I expect all the attention to be in me. Putting her in the kennel with a very dark blanket covering the kennel so she cant see as well as putting a radio on beside her has seemed to help. Your husband sounds like a very nasty man. I love animals, sometimes more than people. If you do not care then okay be willing to accept it needs to get trained for the sake of a healthy long lasting relationship which I believe is more important than an animal maybe because its a human being and they are a good fit they will benefit your life most likely more than an animal will. He raised her like a human child, she is ruined for life. If it werent for having a child with him Id be off out of there as soon as possible. We had an agreement that if the cat came inside during the morning hours, (my husband is usually gone from 1a-8a) he can sleep with me but once hes home and I get up, so is the cat to get up. So I dont find it that unfair. Any comment will help. He was sweet enough to my dog and would even go as far as go search for him if he went missing. Am I crazy for sticking around? I want the dog trained to be all right to be outside for longer periods of time in anticipation of trying to manage twins as they develop and also need floor space. good luck! About 3yrs ago he bought a house & installed wood floors and (as you all know) cats run around from time to time. There seems to be two types of dog lovers: the Nuts and the normal people who dont anthropomorphize their pets. There are no boundaries or discipline. They seem to think that the dogs comfort is supposed to take priority over the comfort of our human guests. Its my philosophy that if you cant spend at least five minutes a day with your pet then its time you dont have one! She became whiny , would cry every time we gave baby attention or even if hubby would change babys diapershe started barking louder whenever we come home from the store she stil allowed to sleep in our bedroom and it annoys me. I love my doggy so much i treat him like a baby and my husband now is giving me an ultimatum between him n my doggy.its been 1 year since we r married. I was just saying keep them out while we eat for 30 minutes! I keep telling myself that the novelty of having the dog will wear off and he will soon be back to giving me the kisses and cuddlesbut its hard to sit back and wait till that happens, and what if it doesnt. How many points will I take away? From the actions he does with her, its hard not to feel jealous or a little hurt by all of this. Shed bark, hed jump while at the same time hed say snide things to me, would compete with me about things, or one up me. My boyfriend and I recently moved in together and with that said, I acquired his seven year old Jack Russell female. Thank you so much for your words of kindness and caution. I am an extremely clean person and I like my surroundings to be comfy and inviting. Most of all, they are not allowed to be DOGS! Its absurd. The dog smell is what gets to me and makes me nauseous! Well this is a problem for me seeing as how I love my dogs so much. I work too many long hours and its not fair to the pets. Hes nuts. I work two jobs and run an at home crafts business, the boyfriend doesnt exercise her (or bathe her) so shes left in the house refusing to go outside and her energy builds, and I dont have enough energy to help her. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Lord knows the boyfriend wont help, because that would be admitting that she is a gross mess. This 50-something woman who until recently had her cat living in her house for fourteen long years insisted on being the caretaker it was her idea to help us with that, not ours. I am a light sleeper and cannot sleep with snoring (she is a pug and snores quite loud), not to mention Ive never liked having a dog sleep in my room. I dont even understand her attachment to this animal, unlike many of you have stated your partners are very affectionate with their pets. THEY JUST HAVE FUR, FOUR LEGS AND ARE FUREVER LOYAL TO YOU NO MATTER WHAT! I denied the idea multiple times just for that reason!! He resented the cat for the love I showed it, perhaps he was jealous, but I am not unaffectionate towards him? I did agree to having the dog with us because I dont like to see any animal suffer as I am too a dog lover. I am going thru the same thing as many of you. Whatever is our desire, we want it now and at the best price with the least effort. He just took her in and expected me to be on board. My needs will never come before their craving to be with their pet. Does he really need to do that? But for now my house is a slight zoo. I have beaten him and it still doesnt work! He said that it had been almost a year since he was able to really be affectionate towards his wife. I did also tell him about this website and that Im not alone feeling like this, I think that helped him see things from my perspective as well. They are vulnerable and at the mercy of the worlds kindness or cruelty. Hence you need to make your lifestyle pretty clear from the beginning then there shouldnt be any problems after. This is not an insult. It was wearing diapers for at least six months, walking into walls, it forgot who we were, forgot its name, and forgot any commands. These are reasons dogs arent allowed on furniture, especially the bed where you lay your head. She allows no kissing during this time. Nor will he let me even attempt to give the dogs away. My dog has been at my parents for a month and now my wife says she does not want her back. His dog lived there when we met. How did an animal lover end up with an animal hater? You are for sure the secondary female in his life and its unacceptable. The dogs have plenty of bones and balls to chew on and play with, but he continues to chew on the carpet and also the curtains. I am engaged and although I have known my fianc has never cared for inside dogs, he has always tolerated them even at their most annoying times. Why on earth do people insist on doing this??? If so, that should happen anyway, but if your SO hates animals or has jealousy issues over your pet that is a big sign of future problems that have more to do with hat person than you or your pup/kitty/iguana/etc. Some dog lovers out there feel its ok to put their pets before their partners. Im in an interesting situation where my dog hates my boyfriend. If she cant honestly support your dream 100 percent to me does not seem worth it. You need to talk to your husband about this and stop caving on things because thats not going to make a healthy household. i really dont know what to do. Finally I was able to get a good night sleep without those dogs jumping on and off the bed, and dirty smell everywhere. Each one was given boundaries and structure, taught manners in living with their humans, loved and spoiled with a lot of treats and toys. This is the biggest load of BS. Not cool. How dramatic, is that? So then I bought baby gates and pads to block off a big area and she could use the pads. Then my DH would have her lick our plates. I met my boyfriend several months ago, and we only just recently started dating. I cant even put the dog in a crate. God made man and woman to live together, what God has joined together, nobody can not separate, much less a useless dog. Its better to keep him in a place where easily cleanable. He was there when I had a bad day, he was devoted and loved me, he was my baby. Animals cannot show spite but I am not 100 percent about jealousy. She sits there and just begs for constant attention, she emits the most awful depressed and anxious energy , she just wanders around the house and stands there with her head down in distress. I dislike this dogs disposition and annoying attributes but I can deal with that. I think it helped to hear from someone else not in the relationship how ridiculous he was being basically choosing the dog over your significant other. This Is so hard and your exactly right about the strange things dog addicts allow! Wanted to make my partner happy. , i love all of our dogs i dont want none too go away! She is a nervous wreck, greedy, drools when we are eating, steals puggles food, bullies puggle her bed is in the hallway and often puggle stops and cries as is nervous to walk past her, also she sometimes growls at him when we are not in same room (my partner says the puggle cries because he is a whimp and she growls at him because she is jealous of puggle as he gets more attention from me) also she often runs away and pretends not to hear us calling when we take her for walks, sheds so much hair everyday,smells awful even after showering, she rolls herself in other animals mess in the park, jumps into bed or sofa when we are not at home knowing she is no allowed on due tomorrow o weight, smell, and shedding (my partner says he lets her in bed when Im not in, supposedly because he feels sorry for her, why the hell would he tell me such thing knowing I cant stand it ?) Incorrect. Dog urinates on my bed which I dont sleep in anymore. And that is the same sort of excuses I hear from dog owners all the time hes just not used to other people or thats just the breed or thats just how he is. And the rest of us are expected to put up with it. To add insult to injury, my bf recently got ANOTHER goldendoodle to keep this one company. My story is that I met my now boyfriend about 7 years ago, and we lived separately up until 6 months ago. Your dignity as a woman is being stripped away and the relationship he has with his dog is unnatural and borderline wrong. According to them, your dog is supposed to have the run of the house. It even watches us have sex and Im kind of bothered by it. I have bad experience right now and its boiling on depression for me. Its just nasty and gross! She drops her dog off at her parents house, which helps because he isnt alone since they have a dog. He's allowed to be Continue Reading 31 Kevin Mcelroy Author has 4.8K answers and 1.4M answer views 2 y 2. Like you said, there has to be some give and take and thats what youll have to do if you want to be with him and vice versa so you both and can happy. My boyfriend now wont go near him and yells at him to get away from him and ignores him, so my dog gets upset and keeps trying to see him. They arent able to cook dinner when youve had a hard night. I want to have a fresh start together and build a happy marriage and we want to start a family. I realized that I only had patience pre pregnancy because I wanted to be a mother. Twice now she has snapped at him when he has tried to reach in her crate to make her go outside. The last straw was when i suffered a severe allergic reaction ( couldnt breathe and eyes swole to the size of an apple)to the cats hair and was told by the doc to immediately remove any pets lest i wanted to risk life long asthma attacks, my husband to my utter shock defended the cat and refused to remove it as a precautionary measure. Shes about 9 or 10 years old. I am 32, and this dog will probably live another 3-5 years. He compliments the dog and acts like its his actual girlfriend. Popular doesnt mean its right. I was scared. Do you seriously believe its normal to have a dog sleep in your bed and expect your partner accept it? In his defence he never realised when we got together how important animals are to me, in fact I think it has increased once I knew we would never have a family. Cant wear anything dark or I have fur on it. Not to mention, dont compare them to children like a boy and a girl analogy. I have two Pitts, one I have had for 5 years, the other for 10 years. I truly dislike it when people amphorize pets into human beings. The dog wont die if its not in the bed and eventually will GET IT that hes not to be in the bed in the first place. Sometimes the problem is with your behavior and the husbands thoughts. I had a 4 hour commute to work total so I was very busy and am disgusted by picking up dog excrements. He just said to his wife, Now you know what Jake went through. Just wow! There is NO excuse for a dog that bites a person!!!!! Get help from neighbors. They also fart constantly and I dont need to smell dog fart while Im eating either! WOW!!!!! How many times have we apologized for getting into a bad fight only to get into another one a week later when he throws it in my face. Go on the couch, eat his food, go in our bedroom and climb on our bed. However, the time comes that we are going to live on our own, which means he wants to have his dogs over there. Rescue your marriage: find a new, permanent home for the dog and dont buy any more animals without first talking it through. Someone please tell me, how do people deal with the pet hair and mess and smell?! My dog listens to me and is obedient when I tell him something but not so with my husband and this makes my husband furious. Sometimes there is poop everywhere! Yes, she bit me. Trying to force me into doing these things with threats and a bunch of sh*t talking to me. We do sleep in the same bed, but when she came, she began sleeping in the room with us. He doesnt say snide comments to his dog. Thanks. (But I wouldnt recommend doing so). Ya, a poor greedy baby that could not stay out of cat food. And I made it clear when I brought him home the dog was HIS responsibility Not mine not the kids. Then you clearly dont understand the mindset of different people. Best to form relationships with people who share your passion. My boyfriend was drunk and as he got out the car he started throwing up. She paws and scratches at my side of th bed all night. I only know that she had gotten this dog with her ex bf. Honestly, you do sound like one of those over-involved pet owners! Seems like not! We tried once I had a terrible anxiety attack that didnt go away until we gave the dog back. I mean, he will come up to me after waking up maybe an hour or two after I have already woken and says he was on the bed and smirks about it like its a joke. And as I said, it is not her fault for being so sheddy and stinky. I feel trapped in my own home, every evening and weekend I find myself hiding in my room while he cuddles his dog. I dont want the responsibility of training the animals and feel no affection for them though I tolerate them and do want to make sure they are fed and not neglected. Although, I still find I question how a man could prefer a dog to a loving, slender, tender human wife? A little back story, my SO at the time also use to be a bit of a junkie and didnt really have a sense of self or respect. Chat with your veterinarian about spay or neuter the dog. Its about him not caring enough about you to make you a priority and that tells me that he doesnt value the relationship to be a healthy life partner unfortunately. Cannot grasp the concept of an animal being put before a human !!!! My boyfriend cant handle that this dog is bouncy, happy to see him and that he wants to cuddle with him. The moment I say something about the behaviors, my wife instantly defends the dog and states that its my fault this dog is like this. Before then we lived in separate homes I had my beautiful and tidy high rise apartment and had no clue whatsoever what could possibly lie ahead. As for the dog thing and spreading bacteria, the only dog (or cat) disease that Ive ever heard of thats communicable to humans is Rabies. To give you how much worse it did become for me. I feel like beau and I walk on eggshells every time hes around. Amen this is so true y cant everyone understand this. So I am going to therapy for grief as I am having a tough time handling that. He doesnt want to be a responsible dog owner and groom her properly and he doesnt want to discipline her out of guilt. The episode featured a family (husband, wife, 2 teenage kids) and their Pomeranian. He had to have the dog in the bed, and the world revolved around this little beast. I went away few weeks ago and came home to my husband telling me, admitting to me that he allowed the cat on the bed. The thing is that you have tried all the options and I respect that but clearly there is something very wrong with him and getting a dog sitter everytime you leave the house is giving into a tantrum. He will break out of whatever you try and put him in then raise hell on the whole house. List could go on forever I cut dog out completely once to unbearable. You get the point. Go out and shoot him?!? So now I find that every time we watch a movie or do anything shes right there on the couch with him while Im the third wheel. She was the alpha over him. She should get the hint very quickly. People who defend the animal to the bitter end kill me. Tell your boyfriend to suck a dick and die. 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