Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. How will we live? I dont feel wanted here. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. Used fake people to pressure a woman to marry him? Is that person you met online really telling the truth? We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. Ill never forget a time in San Francisco when he purposefully drove his truck out of the way through a flooded corner, sending a massive wall of water straight up into the air that came crashing down on a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. I was stunned. Bravery doesnt require the absence of fear. (Im generalizing. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. [deleted] 4 yr. ago. add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos spaceandpurpose Follow 173 posts 20.6K followers 207 following Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) Personal blog Health, beauty, funny things Coming January '23: the S&P Podcast! If nothing else, just the amount of talking is overwhelming. All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. The pain of wondering and uncertainty is realand often buried deep. Fall has always been a favorite. Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. (Do you kinda feel that? Its very real.). Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Love is what rescued me. That dude wouldn't still be breathing if it was my daughter. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. Take me back to the beginning every single day. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was. reviewed: Something Was Wrong Love the podcast. For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing. Solvable is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, . He was lying. Toxic relationship recovery stories, convos, + whatever else we want to hash out. I could hold conversations, but knew something was broken and my mind was doing its survival thing by blocking out and shelving trauma. I was told this past week that when were wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. In my case, since Im obviously the main character here, Im in the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier definitely says, Nice day to start a blog!, Cashier: I said nice day for a jog! For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesGirls Next Level PodcastGirls Next Level on Instagram: @girlsnextlevel_podcastFollow Holly on Instagram: @hollymadisonTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongArtwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as The Bubble. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. Mine was all mental, so I minimized it because outwardly it didnt appear as dramatic as others stories. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. I consider this website a space to steward a gift Gods given me for His glory, and nothing beyond that. (Do you kinda feel that? *Content warning: fraud, emotional abuse, sexual coercion. When Sara got engaged, she thought that she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. Not my service or even faithfulness with what He gave me before He has my attention first. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. He actually laughed, shaking his head! In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. It was a scary piece for me. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. In private, (more as time went on), there was a heaviness or something often weighing him down that I felt the need to support. New episodes come out every Monday for free, with 1-week early access when you join Amazon Music or 1-week early and ad-free for Wondery+ subscribers Some patterns of abuse possibly even before Dick was on the scene. Ramonas left eye. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? Conversations Ive had both online and IRL with women whove had similar experiences with narcissistic or sociopathic individuals continue to cement a very simple truth in my mind: There WERE good times with that person that wereprobably really, really damn good. Pretty dang quickly. I was telling friends I call my special ops that I was amazed by how different our first conversations were. FREE interactive safety plan to help you prepare: loveisrespect.org. Im 1 of the ppl screaming "whats his real name? Well, apparently he could hear me (oops) and he asked who I was talking to in the bathroom. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. . He said once or twice that he wanted our house to be an alcohol free home. He would set new rules, but change them when he pleased, often joking about my wine problem.. I cant continue to sacrifice words Ive been given at the risk of having them misunderstood. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. Our minds are incredible in their design when it comes to trauma. Sociopathy tends to be characterized by a lack of conscience and ability to form many true emotional bonds, but psychopathy means zero conscience or personal bonds. (IM SORRY JOHN & STACI I blatantly judged your book by its cover. I closed the door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying. Youll see information about Young Living and probably food, cause it matters to me and Iplan my travels based on the destinations snacks. Discount automatically applied at checkout, Book Review: A Story of Alcoholism, Pain, and Hope after Loss. Something felt different. 1. It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. I was constantly confused by inconsistency. Sara discusses the discovery of Dick's ex girlfriends and how answers help the healing process. Its not gonna just go away. When Kenzie first met Joe she thought he was funny, successful and charming. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.. Read More Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Wrote fake letters to his future wife to disguise who he is? What then proceeded from his mouth is apparently something called Word Salad. Something Was Wrong is an immersive docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. Same to you, other quiet ones. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. In a healthy relationship, how does a typical child run to their dad? Disturbed and confused, Iridian decides to seek the truth for herself. I stand by what I said about not changing a thing. A nice surprise: in each episode of SmartLess, one of the hosts reveals his mystery guest to the other two. So many of us are so focused on getting our stories out there that we forget that becoming known has consequences. For those wondering and asking, I truly am doing well! and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. I dont want to get in the way of anything. I begged him to stay. I just listened and I want to know too. Listen to Season 9 of Something Was Wrong now and subscribe to hear the next chapter of their story every Thursday. The more I piece together, the more freedom and healing comes. *Sources: Yahoo News: Womans boyfriend claimed to be an FBI agent, but she felt something was off: 'I cant answer that', In The Know, December 19, 2022: https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/womans-boyfriend-claimed-to-be-an-fbi-agent-but-she-felt-something-was-off-232932588.html Jenna Jeans Tik Tok: @JennaJean8 https://www.tiktok.com/@jennajean8/video/7171129904665218350 For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resources S15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrong. I cleared up their confusion while distinctly noticing awkward tension and his lack of comment. My family was never like this but these people remind me of a lot of families I grew up with at church. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. It wont always be super serious around here. Play This is not your story, you do not get to have . I could fart and hed call it blessed. To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. ), We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. First, however, I had to allow Him to pick up the pieces of a shattered sense of self, and reconstruct my concept of what I have to contribute to the world around me. S1 E15: Safety + Coping Strategies for Leaving Abusive Relationships. This episode comes out for free on Thursday December 22nd 2022. If I got distracted and checked out from making a daily connection with Him, I always knew I had Sunday to reset and re-center myself. My mom still references the night she and my dad told us they were giving us money for the wedding. I walk a line with choosing to blog about my real-time process, teetering toward avoidance when that process hits a bump in the road called full clarity and the resulting fury. (If girls were single, they were waiting. I was preparing to become the helpmeet my dream guy was looking for, instead of calling it living my dang life.). Even the sister does. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Ashley Abercrombie: So youre a ghostwriter? Psalm 37 has been brought to my attention more than once its not a gentle read. One of the things I value most is treasuring the personal information of my friends. If we dont feel capable, there is Grace and we can ask for help! Weddings ARE expensive, after all. I want my friends to feel safe. S1 E2: It Was Weird. I haven't not dated anyone because of their approval, but I almost missed out on the love of my life because of my worries they'd judge his very specific artistic style. I dont believe things have gotten the worst they will get because I dont think the church is quite desperate enough. Dipping my toes in some frigid waters!) Jesus did all this so we could be restored to our Father. I remember being thoroughly convinced of my incapability, frustrated to the point of tears when my music teachers wouldnt believe my arguments. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. The verses right before the ones I shared: v.10: For as the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.. Welcome to a spiritual war. Learn more about your ad choices. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. It all makes sense now , She's a hun and still doesn't realize that religious beliefs are what made her her vulnerable here. I can see why people write the whole thing off, especially after hearing about how I allowed my dog to be treated. Was recently suggested the podcast Something was Wrong by a good friend, and wow is it GOOD! When I saw Something Was Wrong in Apple's "Purple Podcast App" (as Lindsey Chrisley always refers to it on Coffee Convos), I thought I'd listen to one episode just to see what it was about.It was previously an Audiochuck production, but is now part of Wondery / Amazon Music.. With a Wondery+ subscription, episodes are ad-free which really makes listening to podcasts enjoyable - and fast. Am I brave enough to chase what I want, or scarier yet, let go of something less? If we see what He does: Him in us? That SAME song always, is so indescribably bad. Although I sort of saw the humor in it (because I was open & trusted where I stood with him), looking back, it made me feel hurt, insecure and confused around how to play along. Playlists. When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not that thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. And having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God -Rom 6:22. The answer is absolutely yes. Something Was Wrong with Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) EPISODE 83 Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. Gratchki 4 yr. ago. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. The vileness of words spoken in the final couple of months, contrasted with the soft, loving words that originally sucked me in made me nauseated. They pointed out how it was technically inaccurate because it was taken out of context. We support artists from around the world, who create works speaking to inclusion, feminism, equality, wellness, and other important social issues to both promote diversity in media & spread ideas that encourage openness. I had no frame of reference for what he meant because I was ecstatic to see him. The people we surround ourselves with are who we will reflect, so hopefully were all chasing something that freaks us out on some level. When I play it, I cant help but get lost in the stark contrasts of who I was during those hundreds of hours spent learning and refining it, and who I am now Mentally wandering through big, landmark memories of discovery, adventure, victories, and fears. Until a week before their wedding when she discovers something is wrong. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. In careers, romantic relationships, etc, we might settle for something a step above or similar to what we knew before, because at least its not as bad. Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. I have yet to find another one that I enjoy as much! I think they sort of gave up policing people. It was very beautiful, covered in blossoming vines and beautiful flowers, but it was a wall. Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. The blood Jesus shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it. Recommended by media. It happens to have twists that make for great listening, which only gets it to more ears that might need to hear it. When I saw that print in the store, someone with me tried to shoot it down the second I reached out to touch and look at it. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats, This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we. Since 2012, MTV's reality series Catfish has taken us through the murky waters of online dating by investigating relationships and exposing the people who lie about their identities. His driving was aggressive, earning him multiple tickets. There were certain daily routines he started from the beginning that he never wavered on, even near the end. I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. (@SpaceandPurpose) I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. He had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and discern my feelings. Tee gets a call from Jason that changes her forever. This is not a place to promote your podcast. Its not gonna just go away.). but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. A good Father does not take away to leave a permanent void. I may not be all things, but I can be obedient and He is faithful. https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. No Victim Shaming or Victim Blaming. (Opus. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. Mind blowing. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? At that moment this thought/impression entered my mind: If you could see as I do. Im sorry, podcast listeners: It was in that same Blue Bottle on a Thursday afternoon that I saw one of the letters Bryan and Kimmy sent me on his laptop screen. Episodes Popular Podcasts See All Advertise With Us For You Thats whats happening. Not a fan. Clarity kept me focused and I knew what hed said. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. 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