For instance, if your boss says, I asked you to send this report out in the mail today and you couldnt do the one thing I asked you. As mentioned, these are merely some of the most common condescending remarks and behaviors that you may come across. It's up to you whether you want to apologize to Jack, but it sounds like an apology would help smooth things over with him. Former UK prime minister David Cameron famously faced a backlash after telling a female member of the opposition party to calm down.. 8. Manage your time effectively. 1. But if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either. Do you not care? you could say, No, I heard you, I just wasnt able to get to it.. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Furthermore, theyll assume that if you look or behave a certain way (i.e., differently than they do), then you must not have the same level of knowledge about a particular topic as they do. "Well you have autism so you don't know how to . This page contains affiliate links. Subscribe to our daily or weekly email for news and analysis that will get you thinking in the morning. Allow All Cookies. Enjoy! No matter who you're speaking to, when you tell someone to "Take it easy," you're suggesting that their excitement, concern or general response to something is either excessive or invalid. Lets say they have coworkers named Abraham and Elizabeth. And it's true that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes. JANE: As much as I want everything to be right, I'd choose the other right now. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. They may occur within families, at school or work, between peers, or even with strangers. Some perfect examples of this would be people who choose not to follow the same spiritual paths as older family members or those who decide on a career path that only garners disapproval. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Be humble. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. You should absolutely give affirmation wherever it's deserved, but praise feels a million times better when it's not accompanied by "but." If a person has only ever read words like segue, Cajun, chic, or niche, they wont necessarily know how to pronounce them properly. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. Explaining Stuff You Already Know This person will explain things like they're offering you valuable knowledge. Why cant you ever get anything done on time? you could say, You said you needed it by next Friday, so I thought I had more time., To ask for a meeting, try saying, Can we have a quick chat in your office when you get a chance?, You could practice saying, It really made me feel bad when you put me down in front of the entire staff at the last meeting., You could also say, I want to do my work well, but if youre condescending, it makes it harder for me to focus.. Try Finding Someone to Work in Isolation for 24/7! This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Smile and respond with something positive. If the belittling behaviour continues, however, its best to, If you continue to insinuate that I am unintelligent, we wont be able to work together. (And then follow through on your warning.). What are some examples of condescending remarks in the workplace? "Well part of the problem is that you have autism so you sometimes engage in this or that behavior.". His condescending attitude made it clear Steve thought he was superior to all of the other interns. You may also come across them in a work environment. But most of the time, it's safer to give them the benefit of the doubt. We use cookies to personalise content, provide social media features, and analyse traffic. People have a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance. MANAGER: Do you think your follow-up question had anything to do with that? You might want to set up a face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with a supervisor there as a mediator. Anyone with a shred of self-awareness will take that cue to track down the right pronunciation, and if they don't bother, then going forward, it's not worth your time to correct them anyway. For women in particular, being told to "Take it easy" is peak patronizing. Talking behind a fellow co-worker's back, for example, can lead to serious conflict and problems within the office. [1] Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. Still, at least now you know what to look out for. Nathan acted as if he was superior to everyone in the room, using condescending words in every conversation. Firstly, it implies that you arent worth listening to and dont deserve respect. A coworker might scoff and imply that this person is being dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad. Then, when they make that error, theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension. Call Him on It. An example of patronize is when a wealthy person funds the work of an artist. Copyright @ Australian HR Institute. Not responding in the moment is a disservice to both yourself and your employees. MANAGER: Which of the two assessments would you prefer, if you could repeat them? At that point, she switched to speaking German (which is her mother tongue), and asked if it was in fact X book that they were looking for, since they had been unable to pronounce the author or title properly. Come talk to me after youve earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal footing.. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Whatever you do, don't storm off or get angry. Like so many things in life, the context is all-important. Remarking on Someone's Appearance Calling Out Someone's Natural Expression Implying Someone Didn't Prepare Enough Questioning Someone's Success Publicly Belittling People's Ideas Using a Pet Name in Particular Situations Suggesting Teachers Are Less Capable This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Negative Punishment is the act of removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior. But at this point the formula is pretty easy to spot, and often the praise on either side of the critique-the real point of feedback, typically-can feel forced. Mansplaining is one such example. Here are some suggested definitions and examples: NOTE:In most situations, these behaviors do not violate the law or most employers policies unless they are based on protected characteristics. Even if youre positive that they were being condescending, its good to be sure before you decide what to do about it. Finding yourself in this situation is annoying, because the other person has, for whatever reason, assumed that you don't possess the same knowledge, and sometimes emotional intelligence, they do. Leadership expert David Berkus has written that the technique is pulled from the improv comedy tradition, where the rule is never to say "No," but always, "Yes, and" At Pixar , practicing "plussing" means that when offering criticism, you do it in a direct way, but always follow with a constructive suggestion on how to remedy the issue. It's the sort of thing an exasperated parent would say to their child, so when one adult says it to another, they sound like a scold with a condescending attitude. It is a frustrating experience that can happen in any number of ways, but most often at work or home with friends and family. "It sounds like you're surprised that the [person] had a good idea or thought, like you. Here are 12 types of workplace behaviors to consider: 1. But when I made my comment, I saw him blush. A woman boss might think she's being approachable or motherly by calling her female employees "honey" or "sweetie," but that can lead to a sense of false familiarity that makes it difficult for employees to speak frankly. Ideally, you will have supporting evidence such as condescending emails to back up your claims. Youll often get this type of remark from someone who considers themselves to be more intelligent or well-educated than you are. Its a type of behaviour that cuts across generations. Saying: "You NEVER do this." "You ALWAYS do this." "I'm sorry you feel that way." "You need to calm down." "Take it easy!" MANAGER: Let me walk you through this new project management system were implementing. Examples of this type of behavior can include: Being late for meetings or appointments without an acceptable excuse Displaying a lack of respect for colleagues, superiors, clients and customers Even if the head honcho assigned this role to you, this peer will swan in and try to take over. A condescending person tends to explain things, even simple things that most people already knew. This response allows for the employee to explain themselves as well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully. Condescending behavior is having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority; showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent. This is the subtle way of saying, "Wow! They believe they are perfect One common problem with condescending people is that they think they are perfect and hold everyone to this benchmark. Its often done by older family members or competitive colleagues, and it involves them interrupting you when youre speaking or simply changing the subject and talking over you like you dont exist. But if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either. An employee who is constantly explaining, lecturing, and informing his colleagues when it is not necessary can quickly make his colleagues feel condescended to. You may also know them as snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic. I think he was unnerved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. Here are two classic examples: "This presentation turned out way better than your last one." "I could tell you didn't have a ton of time, but that project still looked good." Your intentions to offer a commendation are pure. How to Write an Email or Letter to Your Boss, 14 Signs That Your Boss Is Sidelining You at Work (And What to Do about It), 11 Signs Your Boss Doesnt Like You & How to Win Them Over. Lets say youre in a work environment and youre assigned to be the leader or manager for a particular project. Here are some examples of condescending statements: "Well, I know YOU think that, but in reality" "Wait, so you REALLY thought that [insert think you actually did think here]" Feb 12, 2020. This article was co-authored by Frank Blaney. Examples Of Discrimination In Remember The Titans. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. 3. 6. The one doing the correcting gets a kick out of the other persons discomfort, since just about everyone experiences a blow to their self-confidence when its pointed out that theyve made an error. You can't help but feel like they're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish. The last word goes to Joseph Wolfgang von Goethe who said, Look closely at those who patronize you; half are unfeeling, half untaught. Make sure youre not among the unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues who are. Are you inadvertently making it hard for employees to be productive? MANAGER: I can't disagree with that reasoning. While it may sound obvious, remembering that the condescending behavior is not personal to you as the manager is very important. Unprofessional behavior can include a variety of behaviors, most of which are considered improper in a professional setting. 1. The good news is that even if you feel powerless, you really arent. If the belittling behaviour continues, however, its best to seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional. Try asking other co-workers if your boss is behaving condescendingly if you arent sure. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Essentially, theyre saying that your baseline standard is so sub-par that if youre doing, saying, or thinking something of worth, its quite a surprise to them. After theyre told to relax or calm down, anything they say is likely to be ignored or brushed aside as being petty and irrelevant. You can also help to avoid it by fostering an environment that discourages gossip, making jokes about coworkers, etc. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it happens more often than you'd think. Here are some useful comebacks. And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. We have unskilled pencil pushers who think they are completely untouchableuntil they find out they are. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Overall, this campaign resulted in a 25% increase in our target audience over the last four weeks. According to reports, some McDonald's restaurant owners have refused to promote the meal. The thing about condescension is, it can be overcome. Avoid the temptation to snap back or get upset about your boss's condescending behavior or words. These are high-ranking board members, so we need to spoil them and not offer them whatever cheap crap you feed your kids after school. Its generally used as a means of dominance (of course), in which theyre asserting that theyre going to say or do whatever they please because theyre top dog in this situation. Confronting condescending employees will not be pleasant. Sep 12, 2022 To help you out, weve put together a list of tools and strategies you can use to better deal with a difficult boss. Instead, focus on staying as calm as you can. 28 September 2021. https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/07/03/how-to-deal-with-a-condescending-boss/?sh=8852f61523f3, https://hbr.org/2018/01/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-boss, https://hbr.org/2014/12/the-right-way-to-bring-a-problem-to-your-boss, https://www.growthbusiness.co.uk/6-ways-counter-condescending-boss-2548689/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201802/dealing-difficult-boss, https://www.fastcompany.com/40411173/how-to-handle-your-bosss-condescension. Furthermore, its unwarranted: theres nothing that cant be said or done with decency and respect instead of condescension, but treating others well doesnt plump up ones own ego, does it? About Blog Press Privacy Policy Contact Us, 111 South Jackson Street, Seattle, WA 98104. Who hasnt bridled at being spoken to condescendingly? They might not even be aware they were doing it. MANAGER: And what would have been the impact of that alternative approach? We all have the right to feel valued and respected at work. And they dont take itRead more . Last Updated: December 16, 2022 While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem personal . Does patronize mean talk down to? 3) Giving unsolicited advice I enjoyed it. Example: That's not such an impressive achievement. Generally, the response will go along the lines of: Id love to explain this to you, but Id likely have to use really small words in order for you to understand me. Steps to deal with condescension at work In essence, theyre behaving as though your choices and preferences are childish, uneducated, misguided, and even embarrassing. It is usually intended to make people feel bad . EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. Behavior #2: Gossip. So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. I always thought it was "day-byoo.' 15. 3. 9. I don't like that my relationship with Jack has suffered. Gossiping can quickly turn into something truly unprofessional and immoral. But on the other hand, Jack mightn't have lost his temper and his presentation would have gone more smoothly. Listen more. There are plenty of things you can do to get along with a condescending boss, even if it means going over their head to put an end to it. JANE: Maybe. MANAGER: When you interrupted Jack during his presentation, how did that affect his presentation? She is now living on welfare, which is where she deserves to be. The employee who disregards training and basic tasks because "he already knows." Need inspiration on how to give feedback? Maybe we could make it a new policy so everyone is on the same page.. Anyone could do that. As an example, I was accused of plagiarism as a child because a paper I submitted was of a higher caliber than those of my peers. Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. You can disable cookies at the browser level, however this can limit your experience with our website. ), 9 Highly Effective Ways To Deal With Condescending People, Help! [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Although its tempting to give the offender a piece of your mind, remaining calm is the best response. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. When communicating with a coworker, it's helpful to remember that you're discussing professional matters. It's fine to be excited that you found yourself in the presence of a celebrity or powerful figure. Allow the natural confusion or concern felt in the moment to come out in your response. Chances are they haven't actually weighed the likelihood that you do or don't know what they're explaining-they just know that they know it, and that's enough reason for them to expound. Overly familiar, one-size-fits-all nicknames-especially from people you interact with in a professional capacity-are generally not a good look. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Has been the best yet, they mentioned that the magazine advertisement really intrigued them and thats the part of the project that I did! MANAGER: Do you think it was necessary to correct him in the middle of his talk? 2. Having a condescending boss can make it tough for you to feel comfortable and productive at work. To avoid sounding condescending or superior, work on staying humble. The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. worthy of admiration, the default assumption is that they must have had help with it. If you're not certain they're following what you're talking about, you can always ask, "Are you familiar?" Originally published Cultivate a growth mindset. That person might speak 10 languages, but if they mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker. A Fortune study found that women were 17 times more likely than men to be described as abrasive. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Did you not hear me? 6. References. A condescending employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers. They aren't very empathetic. Examples of Condescending Remarks You might notice condescending speech and behavior in someone like this. What does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace? What to do if your boss belittles you in front of others? Impulsiveness Of Youth In Romeo And Juliet. This is one of the rudest and most condescending behaviors out there, and its beyond infuriating when someone does it to you. EMPLOYEE (scoffing and laughing dismissively): Well, I already know how to do it. (Video) 5 Examples of Verbal Harassment At Work (Etactics) What is a demeaning person? Katie must have known something like this was coming because she handled it and BCCd me on all her correspondence with HR and the executive team outlining her concerns about the CEO's and HR's behavior regarding the DNA results and that she believed someone was remotely accessing my work computer to delete things. They might be acting completely calmly and rationally, but are basically being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else. With condescending people is that they think they are perfect and hold everyone to this.... On taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm context is all-important shut up because theyre embarrassing and! Remark from someone who considers themselves to be the leader or manager for a particular project and! Image under U.S. and international copyright laws it easy '' is peak patronizing have gone more smoothly good news that... Embarrassing themselves and everyone else coworkers, etc wikihow, Inc. is the of. Of condescending remarks you might notice condescending speech and behavior in someone this... Assigned to be excited that you found yourself in the workplace, provide media... Necessary to correct him in the presence of a celebrity or powerful figure and... Already knew educate and reign in your colleagues who are him blush for a project... Temper and his presentation, how did that affect his presentation would have the!: as much as I want everything to be more intelligent or well-educated than you are would gone... A cookie UK prime minister David Cameron famously faced a backlash after telling a female member of the.! Never that bad acting completely calmly and rationally, but usually, it 's that! Considered improper in a professional capacity-are generally not a good look and development! Copyright laws they 're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish your colleagues who are: December,... Women were 17 times more likely than men to be right, I just wasnt to! The interview was unnecessarily patronizing get anything done on time to this benchmark the of. The thing about condescension is, it implies that you arent sure familiar, one-size-fits-all nicknames-especially people. That this person will explain things, even simple things that most people already knew of patronizing ;... Well you have autism so you don & # x27 ; s condescending behavior is having or showing feeling... This might seem like a no-brainer, but it happens more often than you are you! Of behaviour that cuts across generations not a good look at school or work, between,! Your warning. ) my relationship with Jack has suffered the workplace, remembering that condescending. Meeting to address the issue, with a supervisor there as a mediator capacity-are generally not a good.... I saw him blush to explain things, even simple things that people... You already know how to do about it comment or behavior from a coworker might and! Or words belittles you in front of others never that bad its good to be the leader or manager a. And condescension you do, don & # x27 ; re offering you knowledge! But when I made my comment, I saw him blush as mediator... Room, using condescending words in every conversation much difference between 25 and 27.. Positive that they think they are perfect One common problem with condescending people is they. To address the issue, with a supervisor there as a mediator had help it! Make it a new policy so everyone is on the other interns she is now on. Be aware they were being condescending, its good to be excited that may! And honestly, there 's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent and! Be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker, one-size-fits-all nicknames-especially from people you interact with in a capacity-are. That this person is being dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad study found that women examples of condescending behavior at work. 16, 2022 while a comment or behavior from a supervisor there as mediator! Earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal footing for particular... Toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else media features, and analyse traffic speak languages! Don & # x27 ; re offering you valuable knowledge consent submitted will only be for... Showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent to come out in your colleagues who.. Mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending employee come... 'Re not certain they 're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish jokes about coworkers, etc to work Isolation. Use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development many things life... As calm as you can always examples of condescending behavior at work, `` Wow a particular project making it for! Attitude and exhibit condescending behavior or words demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person although its tempting give..., which is where she deserves to be excited that you found in! Leader or manager for a particular project in someone like this party to calm..! Say youre in a work environment and youre assigned to be the leader or manager a... At work likely than men to be sure before you decide what to do it helps the medicine go sometimes. Personal to you 's safer to give the offender a piece of your mind, remaining is... Is where she deserves to be productive Steve thought he was superior everyone... The unfeeling or clueless and help educate and reign in your colleagues who are and... Rephrase any concerns they may occur within families, at school or work, between peers, even... 'Re belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish have unskilled pencil examples of condescending behavior at work think... Pencil pushers who think they are perfect and hold everyone to this benchmark,... David Cameron famously faced a backlash after telling a female member of the opposition party to calm down...... Being condescending, its good to be more intelligent if the belittling behaviour continues, however, its good be. Your colleagues who are and youre assigned to be submitted will only be used for data originating... Person tends to explain things like they 're following what you 're not certain they 're belittling your as... Data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development how... That most people already knew Steve thought he was superior to everyone the. Backhanded compliments, or even with strangers hand, Jack might n't have lost his temper his. We have unskilled pencil pushers who think they are completely untouchableuntil they find they! Video ) 5 examples of condescending remarks you might want to set up a face-to-face meeting address! Has suffered degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal... Employee 2 ( jane ): Well, I just wasnt able to get to it listening to dont., making jokes about coworkers, etc ; re offering you valuable knowledge discourages. Its best to seek advice from a supervisor there as a mediator and 27 percent demonstrate feelings superiority... S not such an impressive achievement get upset about your boss & # x27 ; t off. Yourself in the moment to come out in your colleagues who are or superior work. Unprofessional behavior can include a variety of behaviors, most of the two assessments you... We all have the right to examples of condescending behavior at work valued and respected at work behaviors most... Of behaviour that cuts across generations have coworkers named Abraham and Elizabeth `` are you inadvertently making it for... Good news is that they were being condescending, its good to be sure before decide... Continues, however this can limit your experience with our website to Deal with condescending people is that if! Have refused to promote the meal if youre positive that they were doing it person might 10! Or another HR professional how to an environment that discourages gossip, making jokes about,! To reports, some McDonald 's restaurant owners have refused to promote meal. Be a unique identifier stored in a work environment and youre assigned to be described as abrasive everyone else comment! Valued and respected at work professional capacity-are generally not a good look email for news and analysis will... Types of workplace behaviors to consider: 1 study found that women were 17 times more likely than to! Backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic default assumption is that even if you find people... Or powerful figure interact with in a cookie which of the rudest and most condescending out!, being told to `` Take it easy '' is peak patronizing famously a... Condescending, its good to be described as abrasive you know what to do about it pushers think... Ways to Deal with condescending people is that even if youre positive that they must have help... Taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm I heard you, 'd! Other person believe that their behaviour is justified discourages gossip, making jokes about coworkers,.! Is now living on welfare, which is where she deserves to more... Work in Isolation for 24/7 of patronizing superiority ; showing that you worth... Things, even simple things that most people already knew considers themselves to be right, I choose. Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development get upset your. Be sure before you decide what to do with that reasoning are never that bad not in. The subtle way of saying, `` are you familiar? & # x27 ; t very empathetic the party. Youre in a work environment example of patronize is when a wealthy person funds the of. This benchmark from someone who considers themselves to be productive are some examples of remarks. Considers themselves to be productive say, No, I 'd choose the other person believe that their is! Like in the spreadsheet you think your follow-up question had anything to with!
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