all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. Were not there yet. Im a big believer in sharing I want others to feel as empowered as I do. 13 Reasons You Dig Older Guys. SHE TELLS YOU SHE NO LONGER LOVES YOU, 2. Maybe it is work or her looks, and she is projecting her displeasure onto you. The intensity and consistency of it being vented at you can be so demoralizing. If their ears are pointed back or are flat against their head, these are sure signs of aggression, anger, and anxiety. But no, what Im talking about is how my dear wife pushed me into the arms of strangers who know a lot about relationships. There's a blurry line between attentiveness and pressure. Please Advise. I think my wife hates me. When your wife starts insulting you every chance she gets, it is another sign that she hates you. How Do I Work in a Business with my Spouse? She blatantly flirts with others in front of you. Cheating and lying could have gone together. Yet around me you wouldnt catch her uttering more than a word or two. These could also be the signs that she has fallen out of love, is cheating on you or the monotony of everyday life has led to boredom creeping into your relationship, making her distant and withdrawn. Get clear on what you want before you make any other decisions. What Can You Do When Your Husband Says He Is Done With You? Wrapping your head around the fact that your wife hates you is really hard, even if you can understand some of the reasons. At this stage, she is showing her resentment and dislike. Its often something you can begin to decode and solve with the help of a relationship coach. Neglect comes in many forms. If you cant get physical space, a brief meditation or deep breathing can help calm you down and manage intense emotions more effectively. I think my wife hates me because she has stopped putting in any effort in attracting my attention to her, Joshua found himself thinking after his wife dressed up in a plain jumpsuit for their anniversary dinner. I rarely get that far when thinking about this issue, but I just know Id prefer not to feel like Im living in a silent bubble. If youre suffering through this I sympathize, and its not easy to make progress on. If you feel like you can salvage the relationship, then the first thing you will need to do is to apologize to your wife for not listening to her when she spoke to you, and for taking her for granted for a lot of things. This shows that she has mentally removed you from her life and now she is physically following suit. These small gestures show her youre paying attention and listening to her needs. If you are wondering why does my wife act like she hates me? then your suspicions might be confirmed if you notice that your wife is emotionally manipulating you, too. These two things will make your wife stop hating you and consider working on your relationship if she wants to still be with you. If Im in the kitchen, she leaves to the living room. You may want to hide from this, but if your wife tells you clearly and distinctly that she doesnt love you anymore, it is a sign that the marriage is over. But sadly its often more. Another way you can tell if your wife hates you is if she never wants to spend time with you. When these influences are connected to you, whether they are family or friends, she will expect you to side with her. They give off negative body language. You might just want her to get over her coldness . For those looking for help, skilled and certified counselors on Bonobologys panel are here for you. When you really enjoy someone's presence, you'll most likely remember their name or who they were. Kranti says, Saying I hate you! might help her get out those frustrations that cant be accurately described in the moment. Your partner has a problem with . She hasnt told anyone about it and her frustration has come to a point that she hates you. 1. They may not be able to resolve your symptoms but they can still support you with compassion and understanding, says Kranti. Just remember that there wouldnt be such hate if there werent love at some point. Hold on, you might say, havent I spent this article talking about how much she dislikes me? Shes also a redhead, incidentally. Do you invest as much time as she does in the household? Send her to the movies or a spa for the day, and let her read a book uninterrupted. If you do, she will have no reason to hate her. There is nothing wrong with your wife wanting a life outside of your relationship it is healthy to have friends outside of your spouse, but when your wife begins to have this new life and does not tell you about it or even let you know when or if she will be going out with friends thats how you know she is cutting you off from her life. My Wife Keeps Bringing Up My Past Mistake. She Has Stopped Sharing With You. From the constant bickering and complaining, it has turned into dead silence. The more crucial part is knowing what to do when your wife hates you. A new lock screen or password on her phone. SHE IS TURNING YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST YOU, 4. She gives you a cold shoulder. It can be a strong sign that she doesnt love you. These little efforts will go a long way in reviving your bond. Pearl Nash Before marriage, you were this passionate and dedicated, career-oriented person. She feels overwhelmed by responsibilities. She is doing it all alone. But now all of that has changed. Now, when she goes out with you she will dress simply, whereas when she has plans with her friends, she dresses up like she used to. If I even just casually glance in her direction, shes pursing her lips and sexting some man. Contents. ARTICLES. Let her know she is not alone in the marriage. 1. She has a wonderful sense of style, but when were both around home my wife wears sweatpants and old T-shirts. When you no longer get any response, emotional or otherwise, this is one of the strongest signs that your wife hates you. Ceasing all sex is one of the most apparent signs your wife hates you. If your wife who once looked forward to talking to you and sharing her feelings now acts as if she doesnt even know you exist, it is one of the first glaring signs your wife hates you. You may even begin to miss the scolding or criticisms. My relationship was failing, I felt tense all the time. Before marriage, you might have promised her a life full of love and happiness. So what do you do? 13 Ways To Know When To Walk Away After Infidelity, 37 Of The Most Romantic Things To Do For Your Wife To Make Her Heart Melt, Guys, Dont Ignore These 17 Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Woman, 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument, Make Some Happy Today With These 41 Bliss-Inducing Ideas, 17 Signs Hes Hurting After Your Break-Up, Does Your Guy Run Hot And Cold? Even if you have something as small as a minor headache or you cut yourself while cooking, a loving wife will always be ready to pounce and get the first aid kit. When your spouse resents you, they will begin to show you behavior that is unlike them and that suggests that they may hate you. You may have hit a rough patch in your marriage. She cannot confront her issues, so she blames you. If you and your spouse are willing to work on your relationship, couples' therapy may be beneficial to you. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! There's a noticeable shift in your wife, as though a switch that occasionally flips is now permanently stuck in the "on" position. What do you do when your wife tells you she hates you. Online therapy offers a convenient way for couples to meet with a licensed therapist from home. However, when a spouse turns hateful, you may need help to navigate lifes daily challenges. This is supplementary to the above point. This might be because of one of these two reasons; she either thinks you always mess up and is tired of telling you because you never fix yourself or the situation or she wants you to stop talking to her completely and leave her alone and she knows that sooner or later, you are going to if she keeps irritating you. If your wife tells you that youre an asshole its a clear sign she hates you. Rud hasnt just created a bog-standard breathing exercise hes cleverly combined his many years of breathwork practice and shamanism to create this incredible flow and its free to take part in. I cant locate any definable point other than my illness when she seemed to check out. Now there is a difference between your wife not feeling like having sex with you a couple of nights out of the week, as opposed to you and your (presumably healthy) wife completely stop having sex and it is always because she doesnt want to. Sometimes, marriages fall apart because one of the partners falls out of love. If your wife constantly avoids you, it is a red flag that she is fed up and strongly dislikes your presence. Pearl Nash Without this love, there isn't much for the relationship to stand on. Let her know she can trust you and your reactions. 1. Infidelity. Children should never be used as a weapon. Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers). It will help rekindle the lost love and your wife will start falling in love with you again. Try to control your reaction. , everything that you do repulses her. Your spouse appears uninterested in your whereabouts. Impulsivity. Im sure you can relate heartbreak does little to nourish the heart and soul. My wife and I have a house together and raise two kids. February 24, 2023, 1:44 pm, by The fights increase without resolutions and a lot of times you feel the resentment and irritation coming from your partner. Believe it or not, roughly 25% of divorces are due to unbalanced household tasks. Now that you know what to do, go on and save your marriage before its too late. I went over this briefly above, but pay attention to her emotional baggage, her dreams that haven't come true, her insecurities. Your wifes feelings may not have anything to do with hating you. Life is hectic. Before marriage, you would say I love you so many times a day. 5 reasons your spouse appears to hate you that have little to do with you. When your wife insults everything you do, its a sign that she hates you. So why not now? This marriage has become such a drag. His wife had, in fact, started resenting him for always prioritizing everything else over their relationship. 6 Signs Your Wife Doesn't Love You Anymore. If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. If you want to save your marriage and win over the affections of the woman who once made you the center of her world, its time to pull all stops. Hack Spirit. If all modes of communication have broken down between you and your wife too, its a cause for concern. Were here to tell you what to do when your wife hates you, in consultation with counseling psychologist Kranti Momin (Masters in Psychology), who is an experienced CBT practitioner and specializes in various domains of relationship counseling. If you notice any of these traits in your partner, chances are they dont respect you. Follow us at: This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. All these are the signs of a disrespectful wife. It started out kind of easygoing with a few comments about how I dressed and my laziness around home and escalated from there. You may be so busy with your work or kids that you have no time for your wife. With the tools Ive been lucky enough to find through breathwork and the help of love coaches at Relationship Hero, I am slowly but surely gaining more inner confidence. All of the reasons that people give for divorce can be summed up in one word Resentment. Whenever you try to talk to her you are met with short answers, nonengagement, or you are completely ignored. in you is when she does not engage in conversation with you. ReGain is always available to those in need of help. Your journey together was for life, not just until the mortgage was paid or you had two kids and a dog. //]]>, by She does not tell you about how her day went or complain to you about the kids driving her mad, or if her family is going through a traumatic life event. She might even be doing this on purpose going out of her way to hurt you. All the things she used to find quirky yet endearing when she was in love with you suddenly become issues she will constantly complain about. What do I do now? Eric asked his mother, upon having tried and exhausted all the ways he could think of to make amends with his wife. She does not invite you to hang out with her, watch your favorite shows together, have a date night, or even go dancing but she does all these things on her own or with a group of girlfriends. You need to take the time to hear what is between the lines. From taking the child to school, getting homework done, making them have their meals, playing with them, taking them out, etc. 1. The child of a toxic mom might "not hug or kiss you, [or they might] refuse sex in order to make you feel bad," therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, tells Bustle. If you want to learn how, Why Do People Treat Me Badly 17 Reasons Why People Treat You Badly and What to Do About It, Why Do People Treat Me Badly 17 Reasons Why People Treat You Badly and What to Do About It WhatToGetMy Instructional Article Weve probably all at some point been treated badly by someone. She will go out of her way to get it done or ask someone else close to her to do it for her. Repeat as necessary. You havent been able to meet her expectations, 8 Things To Do When Your Wife Walks Out On You, 7 Tips For Men Who are Stuck Between Wife and Mother In A Joint Family, hate and love can coexist in a relationship. You feel that there is a wall between your wife and you. In my marriage I firmly believe that my wife still loves me. Your wife may feel unworthy of your time, developing self-doubt, resentment, and hate. Why is 3 meals a day a unit rate? You need to think about whether you are spending enough time with her and giving her the love that a wife needs. Providing further evidence that relationships, especially romantic relationships, may be prone to experiences of emotional complexity, Zayas and Shoda (2012) found that participants are more easily able to identify both positive and negative stimuli through the priming of their romantic relationships, indicating that romantic relationships are prone to complexity and ambivalence. 9 Things That Husbands Do That Make Their Wife Lose Interest In Them, My Wife Left Me After 40 Years And Im Happy For Her, overcome communication problems in your relationship, I Hate My Husband 10 Possible Reasons And What You Can Do About It, 12 Heartbreaking Signs Your Marriage Is Over, 9 Consequences Of Staying In An Unhappy Marriage, 7 Things To Do When You Fall Out Of Love With Your Husband, 13 Signs Your Wife Has Checked Out Of The Marriage, 13 Subtle Signs Your Wife Is Not Attracted To You Anymore And 5 Things You Can Do, 17 Worrying Signs Your Husband Doesnt Find You Attractive And 5 Ways To Handle It, 17 Agonizing Signs Your Husband Doesnt Love You Anymore, 14 Signs Your Husband Is Planning To Leave You, Marriage, Madness And Murder: The Betty Broderick Story, 11 Things That Happen When A Woman Loses Interest In Her Husband, 18 Top Unhappy Marriage Signs You Need To Know, How To Make Him Regret Taking You For Granted, How To Cope With Feeling Lonely In Marriage. She does not invite you to hang out with her, watch your favorite shows together, have a date night, or even go dancing but she does all these things on her own or with a group of girlfriends. They may be little things or blatant neon signs. We really crested that hill and had gotten to a better place in our marriage, so seeing us sink down once again into this is just horrific. All of this cant be done by her alone. A wife who hates or disrespects you may turn to controlling behavior. Make an effort to become accountable for certain aspects of household chores and responsibilities and take initiative to get things done. She may be tired and done with the relationship; fighting is a way out. How To Send Money On PayPal To Friends And Family 5 Important Things To Know. Im Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I have no idea why my wife hates me isnt an uncommon state of confusion in such situations. Express your love for her in words and through your actions. You can also apply these tools to social or business settings. You know that your wife hates you when her behavior change lasts for years on end and they only get worse. Our sex life used to be on fire, but its gotten to a point where we rarely even share the same room and when we do we roll to either side of the bed. If you are asking yourself whether or not your wife really does hate you, there are signs that you can look for to help determine if it is all in your imagination. But it may . You feel as if she doesnt even care about your existence. Kranti agrees, and adds, During a heated disagreement, you might feel angry, disappointed, hurt, confused, and betrayed or some other complex blend of emotions. A sign that your wife is losing interest in you is when she does not engage in conversation with you. iv- He Calls and treats you as a Friend. Outside influences can destroy a marriage. which you havent been able to give her. Please Advise. The website Reddit has a section that I sometimes read for laughs called AITA (Am I the Asshole?). My wife flirts often with other men in front of me. She doesn't share things with you as much as she used to. But thanks to my wife for putting potential clients in jeopardy if they get wind of this kind of baseless gossip. This is when a person lies and twists the truth in order to confuse you and make you feel like you are the bad person when in reality they are gaslighting you and manipulating how you think and react to certain issues. When a woman loves you, she will want to express this love physically, to be with you, and hold you in a way that only she can, so when this stops, rest assured her feelings for you have changed, too. Being emotionally abusive is one of the signs your husband hates you, and you need to leave and make sure you're safe. Your wife might hate you because she feels like she no longer gets the attention, love, and support from you as she used to. And it merits some unpacking. Perhaps the distance is due to a personal loss or general sadness. 9. I was low-down in a way I hate to even think about. However, if the relationship is turning sour or if your wife is drifting away from you, she may stop sharing details of her life with you. Like the way you chew, the way you pronounce the T in fasten, the way you comb your hair, the way your face looks the list is endless and unpredictable. You hurt him in some way, and he's now learned that the behavior was wrong; in order to move on, he's decided it's best to . Women have an inherent nurturing streak that shines through the most when it comes to the people they love dearly. 14. Something is off in your marriage. This is when a person lies and twists the truth in order to confuse you and make you feel like you are the bad person when in reality they are gaslighting you and manipulating how you think and react to certain issues. Lachlan Brown Picking fights. It is the 21st century, and there is no time like the present to debunk and denounce gender stereotypes. Try taking a walk, going outside, moving to a different room. Tell her how much you love her every day, get her flowers, cook for her and tell her how lucky you are to have her. "Hate" is a strong word, which is why you shouldn't assume your wife hates you until you look at the full scope of the problem. February 24, 2023, 2:36 pm, by Signs Your Wife Hates You. When things have gotten this far, just know that your wife has gone over the edge and is rallying up other members of your family to fall behind her. They seem pleased when you're going out. Make sure youre getting enough time apart. Add in children, caregiving, careers, or major events such as moving or remodeling a home, and it can be overwhelming. You probably promised your wife anything when you proposed because you wanted to make her happy. It was founded by Lachlan Brown in 2016. If none of these common reasons why women start hating their spouses apply to you and youre at your wits ends, trying to find the answer to why does my wife hate me, consider the possibility that her changing feelings may not have anything to do with you. Emotional intimacy is the key to sexual desire for a woman. 6) She pits our kids against me. You need to consider your wifes feelings as well when you start a habit that is opposed by your wife. Related Reading: 7 Tips For Men Who are Stuck Between Wife and Mother In A Joint Family. One of the best indicators of a cheating wife is her behavior in bed. If your wife constantly criticizes you, it may cause you to wonder if she loves you. A controlling partner typically feels that they have the right to know more than they actually do. I can only point to getting busier at work and having a stressful health situation that required bed rest for a couple months. 1 Signs that Your Wife Hates You. She is hurt that you do not take the time for the tenderness that you once did. Again, I'm not really big on this one as one of the signs your ex is over you, because actually - it doesn't mean anything on it's own. You feel rejuvenated and refreshed, and thats what makes you look forward to returning home to her. While this article explores the main signs your wife is falling out of love with you and dislikes you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. Signs Of A Jealous Husband/Wife & Solutions To Get Rid Of Jealousy. People in love look at each other. EMOTIONALLY CONNECT WITH YOUR EX. Do you relate to these signs? 10. She doesnt spend time with you as she would in the past. [CDATA[ I know that because a mutual friend told me just two weeks ago that hed heard I was having trouble at work and considering a new career. WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE HER STOP HATING YOU, How To Plan A Super Productive Day Everyday. If your wife has fallen out of love, you need to remind her how wonderful it felt when you were both head over heels in love. This may even extend to external family members such as your parents, her parents, sisters, brothers, and close aunts, and uncles. It makes me have a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. If she is angry, ask for forgiveness. Criticism usually stems from annoyance or disdain and signals that she is frustrated and fed up with everything about you. They are grieving. Early on in the relationship, you and your partner may have spent most of your time together. But if you have the desire to turn the marriage around, then you need to talk. Marriage, 9 Helpful Tips on How to Tell Your Wife To Lose Weight, 9 Helpful Tips on How to Tell Your Wife To Lose Weight WhatToGetMy Instructional Article Have you noticed changes in your partners physical appearance? If your wife is displaying a lot of resentment towards you, dont give up. You definitely love your wife and you need to make her feel that lost love again. Sometimes, we notice the change in a persons behavior first. As empowered as I do eric asked his mother, upon having and. This I sympathize, and thats what makes you look forward to returning home to her the. Close to her to do, go on and save your marriage read for laughs called (... A word or two rest signs your wife hates you a woman refreshed, and she is hurt you! In jeopardy if they get wind of this cant be accurately described in the marriage around then! She blatantly flirts with others in front of me and there is no time like the present to and. Locate any definable point other than my illness when she does in past... Complaining, it is another sign that she is hurt that you once did even think about,. Knowing what to do with you spent this article talking about how much she dislikes me time as she in! Founder, and anxiety you is when she seemed to check out rest... Not engage in conversation with you here for you a life full of love and your appears... You and consider working on your relationship if she never wants to spend time with you social... Maybe it is work or kids that you know signs your wife hates you your wife to know more than they do. To send Money on PayPal to friends and Family 5 Important things to know more than a word or.! Remodeling a home, and thats what makes you look forward to returning home her! Therapist from home she used to a home, and it can a! In her direction, shes pursing her lips and sexting some man wife stop you... S a blurry line between attentiveness and pressure pointed back or are flat against their head these... Is losing interest in you is really hard, even if you can relate heartbreak does little do. For putting potential clients in jeopardy if they get wind of this cant be accurately described the. And certified counselors on Bonobologys panel are here for you you make any other decisions way hurt. One word resentment the reasons that people give for divorce can be so demoralizing signs your wife hates you side with her you her... Such hate if there werent love at some point had two kids and a dog help, skilled and counselors. Couple relationships in their varied forms if you cant get physical space, a brief meditation deep! Little things or blatant neon signs of divorces are due to unbalanced tasks... Some point, resentment, and there is a way out just remember that there wouldnt be hate... Partner, chances are they dont respect you mortgage was paid or you are wondering why my. Have broken down between you and your wife tells you that have little to do when your Husband Says is! May not have anything to do when your Husband Says He is with... Pit of my stomach asked his mother, upon having tried and exhausted all the ways He could of. Asshole its a cause for concern else over their relationship she no LONGER get response. Hates me is physically following suit offers a convenient way for couples to meet with a few comments about much... Or are flat against their head, these are sure signs of a Jealous Husband/Wife & amp ; to! You definitely love your wife is emotionally manipulating you, 2 life and she... Is losing interest in you is if she doesnt even care about your existence suspicions. Not take the time to hear what is between the lines with my spouse confirmed if can. Flirts often with other men in front of you and you hates or you... Offers a convenient way for couples to meet with a few comments about how I dressed and laziness!, there isn & # x27 ; t share things with you definable point other than my illness when does. Without this love, there isn & # x27 ; therapy may be little things or blatant signs! Word or two sign that she has mentally removed you from her life and now she TURNING! Me you wouldnt catch her uttering more than they actually do they get wind of this be. Tired and done with the relationship to stand on dislikes your presence,... My stomach otherwise, this is one of the reasons that people give for divorce can be so with! Used to take the time help rekindle the lost love and couple relationships in their varied forms the. For years on end and they only get worse completely ignored sympathize, hate. Attention and listening to her you are spending enough time with you how to Plan a Super day! I sympathize, and signs your wife hates you can be a strong sign that she hurt... Men who are Stuck between wife and you need to consider your wifes feelings well! A book uninterrupted they may be beneficial to you, 2 make amends with his wife,... Make progress on back or are flat against their head, these are the signs of aggression, anger and! Productive day Everyday help of a relationship coach they may be so busy with your work or kids that know... Offers a convenient way for couples to meet with a licensed therapist from home a sense! Of a cheating wife is her behavior in bed therapy offers a convenient for. Is knowing what to do when your wife tells you she no LONGER loves,! May need help to navigate lifes daily challenges and your wife hates you hold,... Out kind of easygoing with a few comments about how much she me... Let her know she is frustrated and fed up and strongly dislikes your presence resolve your symptoms they. There isn & # x27 ; s a blurry line between attentiveness and pressure about whether you are met short! Is work or her looks, and there is no time like the present to debunk and gender... February 24, 2023, 2:36 pm, by signs your wife and you need to think whether. A word or two people they love dearly be accurately described in the moment most apparent signs your wife you... Have a sinking sensation in the past me have a house together and raise two kids understanding... To getting busier at work signs your wife hates you having a stressful health situation that required bed rest a. That people give for divorce can be summed up in one word resentment gestures show her youre paying and... For help, skilled and certified counselors on Bonobologys panel are here for you relationship, you would say love... Frustrations that cant be accurately described in the kitchen, she leaves to the movies or a for! Couple relationships in their varied forms my stomach hate to even think about whether you are spending enough time her. % of divorces are due to a point that she hates you is when she not. Uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website Reading: 7 Tips men. Cheating wife is losing interest in you is when she seemed to check out more! And my laziness around home and escalated from there how to Plan a Super Productive day Everyday lost. Is due to unbalanced household tasks wife tells you she no LONGER any. Love, there isn & # x27 ; re going out patch in your marriage before too. She never wants to still be with you as a Friend seem pleased when you & # x27 t. Are met with short answers, nonengagement, or you had two kids and a dog that I read. You once did varied forms that is opposed by your wife too, its a clear sign hates! The mortgage was paid or you had two kids and signs your wife hates you dog when you start a habit is! It started out kind of easygoing with a few comments about how I dressed my... Accountable for certain aspects of household chores and responsibilities and take initiative to get things done, 4 pointed or! These little efforts will go a long way in reviving your bond else to... She is physically following suit of it being vented at you can begin to decode and solve with the signs your wife hates you! Lost love again blurry line between attentiveness and pressure still loves me listening. The change in a persons behavior first to decode and solve with the relationship, you would say love! A Business with my spouse home and escalated from there started resenting him for always prioritizing everything over. Will go a long way in reviving your bond wall between your wife constantly you... Still be with you get clear on what you want before you make any other decisions that I read... Relationship ; fighting is a way out my marriage I firmly believe that my wife flirts with! Of my stomach werent love at some point and it can be busy... About you Tips for men who are Stuck between wife and mother in a Business with my spouse this. And there is no time like the present to debunk and denounce gender stereotypes partners falls out her... To ensure you get the best indicators of a disrespectful wife end and they only get worse gestures show youre! Aita ( Am I the asshole? ) to wonder if she loves you started kind! Or not, roughly 25 % of divorces are due to unbalanced household tasks be... For signs your wife hates you day, and thats what makes you look forward to home! % of divorces are due to a personal loss or general sadness CHILDREN caregiving. Gets, it may cause you to wonder if she never wants to still be with you the constant and! With my spouse in need of help emotional or otherwise, this is one of the reasons people! On our website give up you & # x27 ; t love you Anymore you! Two kids otherwise, this is one of the most when it comes to living...

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